79 - Some rulings concerning mourning

 1. The Prophet (peace be upon him) rules that it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to stop wearing her normal clothes, finery or perfume, in mourning for a close relative such as a parent, son, daughter, brother or sister, or anyone else for more than three days. The only exception is for her husband, when she should stop wearing fineries, perfume or applying kohl for four months and ten days.

Thus, for a close relative, the period of mourning is three days, which is enough to express one’s grief for the death. A woman’s husband is excepted because he has a greater right. Hence, Islam applies the rules of the waiting period and mourning equally for all married women, whether the marriage has been consummated or not [1]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) then gives some detailed rulings concerning the period of mourning, stating that a woman in mourning may not wear coloured clothing except a yarn dress, which was a Yemeni type of dress where the threads are dyed before its cloth is made. It was not considered very attractive. Hence, it was allowed. Other restrictions include that a widow in mourning does not apply kohl or eyeliner, use perfume, except to remove the smell of menses when she has finished her period. The Prophet mentions two types of plant that impart a good scent when used like incense. This means that what should be used is not a perfume, but a cleansing ointment that removes the smell of menses.  

This is applicable in the case of the husband’s death, but not in the case of divorce. Fine attire may encourage a proposal of marriage. As a divorcing husband is alive, he can stop his divorced wife from marrying during her waiting period, if she tries to do so, while this is not possible in the case of the husband’s death. Therefore, the manifestation of mourning lasts for four months and ten days. Four months is the period required for a pregnancy to be confirmed, and the ten days are added to make this absolutely certain [2]

This applies to a woman who is not pregnant. The waiting and mourning period of a pregnant wife ends at the end of her pregnancy, whether it is short or long. This is based on the Qur’anic verse that says: 

 2. The Prophet (peace be upon him) then gives some detailed rulings concerning the period of mourning, stating that a woman in mourning may not wear coloured clothing except a yarn dress, which was a Yemeni type of dress where the threads are dyed before its cloth is made. It was not considered very attractive. Hence, it was allowed. Other restrictions include that a widow in mourning does not apply kohl or eyeliner, use perfume, except to remove the smell of menses when she has finished her period. The Prophet mentions two types of plant that impart a good scent when used like incense. This means that what should be used is not a perfume, but a cleansing ointment that removes the smell of menses.   

The prohibition of using kohl or eyeliner applies if there is no special need for it. If a woman has a particular need for such treatment, she uses it at night and wipes it off during the day. Umm Salamah, the Prophet’s wife, reports: ‘When Abu Salamah passed away, God’s Messenger (peace be upon him) visited me and noticed that I had applied aloe vera to my eyes. He said: ‘What is this, Umm Salamah?’ I said: ‘It is aloe vera and has no smell of perfume’. He said: ‘It smartens the face. Therefore, use it at night and remove it during the day’ [3]

The woman in mourning should also refrain from using henna, wearing gold and silver jewellery. The Prophet says: ‘A woman in mourning for her husband does not wear clothes dyed with safflower or dyed red, or jewellery, and does not use henna or kohl [4]

 1. Islam permits a woman to be in mourning, expressing her grief for the loss of a relative or a friend, provided that she entertains no feeling of objection to God’s will and that her mourning does not involve any action that incurs God’s displeasure, such as face slapping or garment tearing or loud lamentation.

 2. It is a woman’s duty to observe a period of mourning, if her husband dies, whether the marriage has been consummated or not. If she is pregnant, her waiting period lasts until delivery; otherwise, it lasts four months and ten days.

 3. If a woman needs to use kohl for an eye complaint, and she has no alternative treatment for her complaint, its use becomes permissible.

 4. A woman in mourning for her husband is forbidden all aspects of adornment. It is not permissible for her to wear jewellery, use henna or eyeliners, wear perfume or the sort of clothing a woman wears to please her husband.

 5. The hadith indicates that a woman in mourning may use ointments that have no fine scent. She may oil her hair to comb it, but not for its smell.

 6. It is permissible for a woman in mourning to take a bath, go out for her needs and to speak to men when needed, without voice affectation.

  7. She may eat whatever she likes. Mourning does not imply any restriction on food or drink.

1. In his book on unanimity, al-Ijmā‘ (p. 90), Ibn al-Mundhir says that scholars are unanimous that the waiting period of a Muslim woman who is not pregnant and whose husband dies is four months and ten days, whether the marriage is consummated or not, and whether she is young, having not attained puberty, or old.

Ibn al-Qaṭṭān says in al-Iqnā‘ fī Masāʼil al-Ijmā‘, Vol. 2, p. 54, that all scholars agree that mourning is a duty for a widow, except al-Ḥasan who is reported to think that mourning is not required. Every Muslim wife, who is a sane adult, must observe mourning for her husband for four months and ten days.

2.  Al-Nawawī, Sharḥ Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, Vol. 10, p. 113. English edition, Vol. 8. Book of Divorce, Chapter 9.

3. Related by Abu Dāwūd, 2305; al-Nasāʼī, 3537.

4. Related by Abu Dāwūd, 2304; al-Nasāʼī, 3535.